2 kids, different emotions

Why is it that 2 different children of my own bearing can elicit such different emotional reactions from me? Tonight was the good and the bad. First the good. Abbey met with our Children's Minister from church to discuss baptism. Turns out she's decided she's ready and will join other folks from our church in the ceremony this week at Jordan Lake. I am so happy for her and bursting with pride.

Then there's the bad. Little Harry has had quite a bit of difficulty with the idea of being a good sport. It's really annoying. We try to tell him that it's okay and he can try again, but our simple words are met with the most heinous whine imaginable. I would rather hear nails on a chalkboard than hear the pitch this boy hits.

Tonight was no different. Our Small Group had a nice year-end wrap up at a playground/park. There were games to be played, but not by my son. No sir. Everything becomes a competition and if he's not first, then look out buddy because he's gonna whine about it. I tried several times to get him to see that it's not the end of the world, but the damn Autism got in the way. So I eventually had to take him and the baby home. All the while he was screaming "I not going home" at me. He eventually digressed to just flat out screaming at the top of his lungs. I swear he wanted to hit me, but managed to restrain himself because of the distance between the two of us in the van.

So we get home. I put the baby in the crib and haul him out of the van while he screams. By now, I'm ready to blow, but know it's pointless. I drag him upstairs, force hand washing and change him into pjs. Did I forget to mention how he threw his trains on the floor while I was getting his sleep meds? Anyhow, I got him in bed. Told him I was sorry he was sad, but maybe next time he'll remember this when he starts to whine about not winning.

Sometimes I just want to tell him to man up. I do tell him that people won't want to be his friend because nobody likes to hear it. That in and of itself makes me ashamed and feel guilty. He takes things literally, so I don't know how to work on the nuance of this social phenomenon. All the way home we argued with my telling him he won't have any friends if he keeps it up. That honestly terrifies me. He loves other people so much. I don't want him to be an outcast because he's a whiner and acts like such a poor sport (and a bit like a baby if I can be so honest).

Then I put the baby in bed. Start crying before she's in the crib, take an Ativan and colapse in a heap on the floor in hysterics because I have no where else to put my pent up emotions. Finally it slows down enough for me to form a thought. I pick myself up off the floor, load the dishwasher, and start this blog entry.

Now how in the world to I teach an Autistic child to be a good sport. Anyone? Anyone?