Got your attention? Good! This isn't about sex in the way you may be thinking - rather it's my free-flowing thoughts about why you shouldn't until you are married. Abbey turns 9 soon, and I have to have this talk with her eventually - so I'm starting to formulate my reasoning to her.

See - I always bought into the idea that you can't tell your kids to do things that you did. But - now that I'm a parent, I think there is great value in being honest about the mistakes I've made.

I hear some of you now - but sex is good, etc. Yes it is - but my experience proved it's better to wait. This isn't a soapbox piece per se (nieces do you hear me?), but rather a brutally honest look at the lasting repercussions of sex before marriage.

I met the guy I thought was the love of my life as a teenager. I had daddy issues (mine had died 4 years earlier), and was angry with my mom. There was a big hole in my soul waiting to be filled. Then HE came along. Oh my - when I saw him my heart stopped. When I realized he liked me I almost fell over. After we started dating, we eventually did the deed. Eventually, I got pregnant. His dad demanded I had an abortion to which I responded he could stuff it. It didn't matter, one week later (on Mother's Day) I had a miscarriage. This has followed me the rest of my life. Oh yeah - I also found out 5 years later (after being completely abstinent) that he gave my chlamydia thank you very much.

So why am I thinking about all of this now? Because he recently had another child. I know this because I am still friends with his mom and we are FB friends. While he already had a few kids, the baby was born a few weeks ago. I've seen pictures of him with his children holding his new son and beaming.

Still - 23 years later I feel the sting of our loss and I feel the pain of our breakup. I felt a lot like Bella in New Moon when Edward left her. In fact, I wept during the scenes of her waking up screaming from nightmares because I could relate to the pain she felt.

While we were in the midst of the end of our relationship, I became a Christian. This was a demarcation line in my life. When my life in Christ started, life with Darryl ended. In my mind, I know he's grown up, had his own struggles, and had his own kids. So did I. But somehow, in my heart, he remained that idealized boy that was my first love, who broke my heart, and left me with a loss that will always be there. I look at those photos and wonder if he even remembers. Harry and I have lost a child as well and we still think about it and talk about it from time to time, but I swear I think about her almost every day 5 years later.

This is why I am against sex before marriage. It violates a moral belief for me now, but not only that - there is no telling where the relationship will go or what scars you will carry for the rest of your life.