Curse You Monkey's Joe's!

Monkey Joe's has been a staple in my family for a long time. It's a fun place where kids can get their bounce on and parents can chill a bit and not worry about their kids escaping the building undetected.

Yes, there are the occasional obnoxious children that most parents would like to see removed from the jump areas, but it's not usually terrible. In fact, the one annoyance that I've had each time was guiding my children past the snack bar. Occasionally, Groupon comes out with the offers for admission and $4 at the snack bar.

That's where this tale starts. I purchased said deal a few months ago to have in my back pocket for a day that they needed something to do and I was out of ideas. Next week, I have to go back to work for my teacher workdays, so I was determined to make sure the kiddos have some fun this week. Today became the Monkey Joe's day since the weather was crappy, littlest one has some sort of summer cold, and I generally feel like I've been run over by a truck and dumped off a cliff.

We got inside, children were excited, and my oldest headed off to the "grown-up" area for the free WIFI. We even ran into someone we knew. I didn't notice them until she pointed them out to me. There, to my horror, was a bank of arcade games. AHHHHH! I don't know one parent that squeals with excitement when we spy these somewhere. Usually, we all eye roll in unison and do our very best to redirect our children, knowing in vain it won't work.

So, that's where my hell began. The girl had plenty of allowance saved, so I wasn't worried about her - plus, since she's 6, I still have a HUGE say in how she spends it. The issue was the boy. Yes - my Autistic boy who looks at spending money as a national pastime. In one breath, he's going to save his money to buy a new electric train, but as soon as any random thing catches his attention, he's spent the money. When we next venture out for errands, if he has no money burning a hole in his wallet, there are tears, pouting, and general jerkiness towards the youngest. It's gotten so bad, that I've been taking money away each week to save for the last series of Mixels, because he is obsessing about buying them, but if I don't he won't have the money when the time comes. Then we all endure the rantings that equal a teenage girl in all of her melodrama (which is not a fair portrayal of all teenage girls, but you get the drift).

So after the wheedling began to play games, I said in my best mommy voice that they had to pay for them out of their allowance. Quickly, they both agreed, eager to waste their money. Boy and I had a special conversation about what he could spend and not a penny more because we had to go to the shopping mecca of Target also. I've been on the receiving end of the bad behavior mentioned above one to many times to not have him spend his money before we go. Of course, he agreed so off we went.

Not only are they the garden variety arcade games, BUT, you have to get the money loaded onto the plastic card. Did I mention that they charge you $1 for said card? Fabulous right? I didn't even realize it until some nice lady in line told me about it - there is no signage about it anywhere.

Cards loaded, they were ready to go. It took all of 5 minutes to spend the money and rack up the tickets to "purchase" the dollar store junk in the front. Luckily, I was able to distract by pointing them to the snack bar. It didn't take long for the shiny beasts to beckon again. I let girl spend a few more dollars because frankly, she had it. There it began. I knew boy was on edge because he wanted more time with the shiny beasts. When little girl went to check her tickets numbers, he started crying. "It's not fair. Why does she get to play more?" I sent him to sit and her to play.

He was crying like a 2 year-old. I tried explaining. I tried redirecting, I tried telling him he was acting like a baby and that I wouldn't comfort him because he knew the rule. I told him it was ok to cry and to be upset, but that he was taking it to far. I entered "too many words" territory. I tried to stop talking. He ratcheted it up more, so I started threatening punishments.

I don't do that unless I mean it because I can't stand to watch those pushover parents. One day I'll tell yall all about the crying girl at gymnastics on the "pre-team" that is crying each time I go. And mercy, that girl has to practice 3 days a week, 2 hours a day. I don't know how that coach can stand it. I would have banned that child from "pre-team" by now.

Any who, boy was told that he'd lose electronics for the day if he didn't stop. It kept going. I threatened a new one this time, loss of allowance. He paused, but didn't stop. Little girl came and asked me for something, so I announced it was time to go. Boy wasn't having it. It was put up or shut up time, so I reminded him one more time about allowances lost. He cranked up, so I help up 1 finger (indicating one dollar). He screamed and didn't stop, so I held up a 2. By the time we got to the exit, he was on a 5. We got out the front door and he screamed like a banshee. There went 6, on the way to the parking lot and it was 7, at the car it was 8. Mind you, I kept telling him the consequences, but he was too wound up.

Once in the car, it was all about how he'd never love us again and that he was going to leave. I told him we'd always love him, then I asked where he was going to go, he told me in his room forever and ever. He clearly hasn't thought through what leaving forever means - I'm grateful for that. The little girl has threatened to pack up and leave before.

He also told me he wanted to punch me over and over. It sounds horrifying, but it's better than acting on the impulse. We've been working on kicking out at things, throwing things, and slamming doors for a while. After he threatened to hit me, I calmly told him that he better rethink it or things were going to get a lot worse for him.

Eventually, he calmed down. I told him I still loved him. I told him I was never angry (a little untrue). I told him that I was proud he got control. I told him that I understood how scary it was too feel so out of control. I also told him I'd let him do "special chores" to earn back some allowance this week. I am a bit of a pushover when it comes to him. It's the mommy guilt because of the Autism.

I take the easy road and blame Monkey Joe's for those damn arcade games. Mark one more place on my list of places not to go anymore.